There is the physical manifestation of constipation which, thank goodness, Jamie Lee Curtis is working to eradicate! And there is mental constipation – manifesting in my inability to summon even just 140 characters of cleverness. I have been suffering both. The hours of sitting – whether on the throne or in front of the keyboard – just wasted with nothing to show for it.
Of course these are both symptoms of just general malaise, brought on by my pending birthday! I feel sluggish, so I slow down, stop writing, working out, and stay in bed too late in the morning. Now I’m bored and frustrated that I’m not getting anything accomplished, so I take it out on the refrigerator and eat and drink more, which makes me feel sluggish …. and on it goes. There is a long list of rationalization for my sloth – at the top of the list, no doubt, would be turning 50 in just a few weeks.
“Why bother,” says sluggish me? “It’s time to enjoy life because really there is so precious little of it left, I cry!” That that meant watching reruns of Guiliana and Bill and not making the tough choice between a second glass of wine and an ice cream cone (“Have both! Life is short!”) was at best ironic and in truth, just dumb.
But … not one to question why we fall into these traps or other bad behavior, I simply accept that I’m on the wrong track (again) and will try harder (again) and no, this time I mean it (again).
And yet, habit is hard to break until the habit is broken. It was Father’s Day this past weekend and a visit to my Dad was in order and long overdue. Rather than my usual 90-minute-drive two-hour-visit 90-minute-drive M.O., I decided that I would drive up on Saturday and spend the night … much to their delight…. and surprisingly, to mine. We had a few drinks and I learned a little bit more about my Dad - “the early years”. If you told me I would have been sad to leave, I wouldn’t have believed you, but I ran back to give them a second hug and an “I love you” on Sunday afternoon. I guess because we were spending time together doing what people do, it was more enjoyable than the obligatory “visit.” We took a walk, planted flowers, BBQ’d, watched golf, had a beer and an ice cream sundae.
Which was, it turns out, the last straw for my listless digestive system. My distended belly rivaling those of Feed the Children posters, I Googled my way through “cleanse programs” and “natural regulatory relief” as soon as I got home. This morning, a couple of Colon Cleanse® and lots of water later … this post is the only measure of my progress. And yet I feel so much lighter; this by breaking just one habit. Instead of reality TV and me time, I made two people I love a little bit happier. I also took a long walk by the ocean, and while my face my have looked like that little cartoon dude, the view was much better!
With that small “movement” (har har), my words are flowing again. I am still in negotiations to resolve the intestinal work stoppage but the feel good of doing something different – something with someone else in mind -- might just carry over to my diet as well (I bought prunes as a show of good faith).